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Robert Wilson "My Blue Eyes" Kopler
January 26, 1962 - May 08, 2007


An even lonelier Thanksgiving

Robert an even lonelier Thanksgiving holiday has come and gone.  I have nothing to be thankful for.  Ten years after losing my Mom and You has been very long and painful.  Now my Beautiful Joey is gone.  Everyone I love has left me.  There is nothing for me any longer.  I guess I’m being punished for all of my failures.  What a miserable life this has turned out to be.  I hate every moment of it anymore.  I’m even more tired than I was before.  I want it to all end.  I miss You and Joey more than life itself.  I am eternally Yours.  Barry

Started by Barry Harnamji on November 23, 2017

My Beautiful Joey

Robert, today our Joey is gone forever.  I didn’t think that I could cry so much and yet the tears kept flowing until I fell asleep. I’m still crying as I type.  My heart is entirely shattered.  The dagger through my soul, that started with losing my Mom and then You, has completely ripped through me.  Joey reached seventeen years in August and is the other Love Of My Life.  I’ve been crying every day for weeks as my depression took on a new life once again.  It wasn’t an easy decision to make over the past few days but it was a necessary one.  It practically killed me to even consider it, much less making the call.  The one consolation was that Joey was home in familiar surroundings and I spent as much time as I could with him.  He knows how much I love him and how important he is to me.  My Beautiful Joey.  My Angel of Love.  This life is so very long and extremely painful.  I am completely numb.  I Love You Both Forever My Beautiful Boys.  Barry

Started by Barry Harnamji on November 22, 2017

This Life Has Taken So Much Out Of Me, My Love

Robert it is almost mind-numbing for me to believe that today is the ten-year anniversary since I last saw You, My Love.  The memories and images and thoughts and emotions of that day remain permanently etched in my mind.  I never expected life to make such a drastic upheaval of our lives as to take You away from me.  I often wonder what we would be doing now if things had turned out differently.  It kills me to know that we still had so much to do and see and experience together but we will never be able to get that chance.  I miss You so very much, My Love.  I Love You Forever My Beautiful Boy.  Barry

Started by Barry Harnamji on May 08, 2017

Forever, My Beautiful Blue Eyes

Robert, today we would again be the same age for six months.  Your birthday falls right after the holiday season so the sadness still lingers.  I miss You more than You shall ever know.  I Love You Forever My Beautiful Boy.  Barry

Started by Barry Harnamji on January 26, 2017

You Shall Forever Be The Love of My Life, My Beautiful Boy

Robert, once more I am a year older than You.  The emptiness still remains and nothing could ever take its place.  I miss You every single day, My Love.  No one will ever understand how much of a toll losing You has taken on me.  You shall forever be The Love of My Life.  I Love You Forever My Beautiful Boy.  Barry

Started by Barry Harnamji on August 25, 2016

This Life Is So Very Long, My Love

Robert, I have become very careless in writing my journal entries to You but I feel that I have said most everything that I can to show You how much I Love You and miss You.  Nine years have gone by and we would have been the same age for six months.  I wonder what we would be doing at this time in our lives.  We had so many plans.  I feel lost, even after all this time.  People talk about new chapters in lives but at my age I doubt that I can start anything new.  I recently found some photos of You that I haven’t seen in ages.  You still make me melt.  It’s funny how not many people can do that to me.  I miss You so much, My Love.  I Love You Forever My Beautiful Boy.  Barry

Started by Barry Harnamji on July 25, 2016

You Mean More To Me Than Everything, My Love

Robert, time just seems to speed by and I don’t even understand how it gets by me.  Nine years and one month have now gone by.  I’m tired of being in this lonely and pathetic existence.  Nothing changes.  I trod through this life with no purpose or direction and it gets only worse.  I want this pain to go away.  I want this life to be over.  I miss You more than You will ever know, My Love.  I am sorry I failed You.  I Love You Forever My Beautiful Boy.  Barry

Started by Barry Harnamji on June 08, 2016

I Miss You More Than Life, My Love

Robert, another holiday has come and gone but what was there for me to celebrate?  My cycle of depression is now upon me.  I’ve been keeping it as bay for a while but, alas, it catches up.  It is the one consistent aspect of this miserable existence.  I miss You more than You will ever know, My Love.  I realize I say that often but it is the truth.  I’m tired of this life.  It gives me nothing but pain and heartache, and I don’t want to go through another significant loss.  It will be my undoing.  I Love You Forever My Beautiful Boy.  Barry

 

Started by Barry Harnamji on May 30, 2016

This Life Is Far Too Long Without You, My Love

Robert, I will never believe how fast the time has gone.  Nine years is a long time but I still see You as if it was yesterday.  I often feel Your presence.  This may just be my imagination but it still makes me wonder.  I miss You every day, My Love.  The hurt doesn’t get any easier no matter what people say.  I am empty and alone.  I have nothing left.  I’m sorry for all You endured.  I wish I could have done more for You, My Baby.  I Love You Forever My Beautiful Boy.  Barry

Started by Barry Harnamji on May 08, 2016

My Love, I Miss You With Each Day That Goes By

The month of May is now here Robert.  Time certainly hasn’t slowed down.  In fact, if feels as if time has sped up since I lost You.  I have fallen into the cycle of depression once again and there truly is no way to get out of it, so I just have to ride it out.  I wish I could just be done with this life and the pain because the hurt never ends.  The older I get, the worse it seems.  I miss You so, My Love.  I can’t say it any more plainly.  I long to be able to hold and kiss You but I know that shall never happen again.  This life is empty and alone.  I Love You Forever My Beautiful Boy.  Barry

Started by Barry Harnamji on May 01, 2016

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