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Gail Patricia Caldwell
October 04, 1953 - June 10, 2017


The inevitable dysfuntion

The inevitable dysfuntion....

Expect the unexpected....can be a note about life, generally speaking.

Certainly Gail and I did not expect this. She even wrote to me, during her voiceless last few days.  "Bet you didn't expect this"  I did not. Neither did she. The utter, devestating shock lives on and on in me. My tears never stop.

But after a little of the dust had settled, tones of vindictiveness came into play. A relative wants some property back that was given to Gail upon the death of her mother, Jean, in May of 2016.

Two days after the service the return of  the property, a ring, was not requested. It was demanded. I was told to give it back.

At this point I am slow to let go of any of Gail's belongings. I have not even moved her clothes from the last resting place in our bedroom or elsewhere.

I am in a black pit of despair. I have sought grief counselling, as well as a "Widower's" group. Most of the time I feel like an unthinking zombie in a well of sadness and disbelief.

When I stated my reluctance to return anything I was immediately accused of not following Gail's wishes outlined in her will.

The ultimate accusation is that I only care about myself, and always have.  I'm in the wrong, end of story. And then came the Facebook post telling everyone what a despicable  person/husband I was.

It does not matter that my life has been shredded. Money and possesions are the important considerations to this part of Gail's family. This is not a particular surprise, but it is shocking. There are two generations who have joined in a chorus of indignation about me. They have informed me that I am not part of their family and that the property belongs strictly to them.

I would be lying if I said that these accusations were not hurtful. They were supposed to be. It's why they were made; to make me behave and put me in my place. I cannot fathom the shallowness, the callousness with which this has happened. Extreme value on money and things, but not personal relationships, a real psychological field day. 

I have heard of and seen this sort of behavior in other families, at times like this. I have been told that every family experiences it. Dysfunctional right to the end.

Up close and personal, it takes on an ugly, and disgusting persona.

 

 

 

 

Started by Robert Flowers on July 08, 2017
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